"It's close to midnight and something evil's lurking in the dark. Under the moonlight, you see a sight that almost stops your heart. You try to scream but terror takes the sound before you make it. You start to freeze as horror looks you right between the eyes, you're paralysed!"

At the moment I'm listening to "Thriller - Michael Jackson".
I'm not feeling good, at all. I need to get my life together and fast, before I start to fall into the trap of not wanting a life anymore. I promised myself I never wanted to go back there anymore, so I need to do something quick before my decisions start to change!

Something needs to happen in my life. Sometimes I even wish I was in a horrible accident, I keep wishing that, every time I hear a strange noise when I'm on the train, it would crash. Sometimes I even punch myself or slap myself to make sure I still have feelings (it's stupid, I know, but it's better than self-harm).

I'm taking tomorrow off Uni to find myself and find were my life is headed.

I need to know I'm alive. How do I do this without cutting? I'm trying my hardest not to ever go back there. I'm really trying. :S