"Part of me, I'll never see, come visit, me in my dreams. I feel my actions are destroying me, deep down below the shallow life I lead. This pain is mine to keep and call my own, i'll carry it until I'm gone."

At the moment i'm listening to "My Only - Goodnight Nurse". I'm not feeling to good today. I'm feeling really down because of my weight issues and the fact that it's really tough to see my boyfriend. Since me and him are not classed as "normal" in the eyes of society, it makes things difficult to be in a relationship that is classed as "normal" (Holding hands in public, kissing in public, being affectionate around others.. etc.).

Sometimes life just isn't fair and appears to be fucking difficult. It really is, especially when you're a person who has the challenge of not being "normal". If only me and him could be together and happy in the eyes of society.

So that's why i'm feeling a bit down at the moment. And the fact that i'm pretty overweight... it just fucking sucks. I try to lose weight... i have been trying since i can remember. I seem to be getting knowhere...And the only method i can see that helped a little bit (as bad as it is) was starving myself for a few days... and only drinking water. It's fucking sad that i have to resort to this method to lose a bit of weight to make myself a little bit happier.

This mix of society and weight makes me uncontrolably sad and also makes me miss my boyfriend so much!
:(