"I know the timing isn't great but these things you just can't plan. I just need a little time so I can find myself again. 'Cause I get buried underneath all the things they think you are. And I'm too tired to pretend it doesn't hurt to be left out."

At the moment I'm listening to "The conversation - Motion City Soundtrack".
It's mothers day tomorrow. I got mum a beautiful card and buying her anything she wants when we go out tomorrow. I feel really upset, when my mum get's upset sometimes. She was crying again today. This happens every two to three days. Today was about our financial situation and how pretty much our house is falling apart (literally). The backyard is just overgrown weeds and the inside is falling to pieces. She can't afford to fix anything.

She also get's quite upset because her whole life she has wanted a partner that loves her and wants to be with her forever. She has found this certain someone, except for one problem. He lives in a different state to her. And she only see's him rarely.

I really don't know what to do! I've been trying to get a job so badly just to help out with the bills and everything, but i'm not having much luck at the moment. I really feel sorry for her and have a secret cry every now and then about her because I just don't know what I can do. I know their is a lot worse out their and I do count my blessings that I have a house, food and water. But I just feel so helpless. All I want to do is make her happy! That's all.