Day 4 of my so called boyfriend not contacting me.
But to be honest, I have a lot of bigger problems going on in my life. No, it's not relationships, school or depression in general. It is, in fact, my mum.
She has had a blood clot in her right leg for about 4 days now and it's traveling up her leg, heading for the main artery (Upper Thigh). If it hits that main artery, it could then travel fast towards her heart and she will die. I left for school this morning and my mum told me her leg was feeling fine and the pain hasn't passed her knee cap. When I get home from school, she greets me with a BIG hug and starts crying. She tells me about her day and how it consisted of:
- Going to the doctors just for a check up.
- Realising she had to get rushed away to have an ultrasound IMMEDIATELY!
- Getting the results and having to rush back to her GP.
- Him telling her that the blood clot has moved significantly over night, about 2 inches away from the main artery.
- Now she needs to take injections over the next 10 days to keep her stable.
I feel so ashamed in myself. I don't even feel worried in case it gets worse!! :/
Fuck!
I'm really sorry about your mom :( And i'm also sorry for being a shitty follower, just wanted you to know that I actually read your blog :)
ReplyDeleteThat happens to me a lot too. I don't know if what i'm feeling is the same but still. Sometimes I just feel so irrelevant to the people around me and just don't care. Last year there was a scooter-accident in my small hometown and a girl at an age of 16 died. She wasn't from our school but a lot of people knew her (not me) and cried and we're all shocked for the next days. I just couldn't give a shit. The news about norway were horrid, and in my country the news was on all day that day and updated new info every few mins. It was horrible, and my mom cried when watching tv or hearing it from the radio. For some reason it just didn't strike me that way, even though it happened so close to us. I feel really inhuman about it : /
I don't know what am I trying to say. Sorry, just had to write my thoughts somewhere.. ._.''
Thankyou for the reply. It's good to know that people read my blog, and even better when I receive a comment. It reassures me that I'm not alone in this confused state of mind. I'm sure those incidents you mentioned are very tragic, however i would have reacted in exactly the same way. With a still face and not even blinking an eye.
ReplyDeleteThankyou for reassuring me that i'm not the only one. :)
~Jordan.
It's not inhuman, it's shock, it's suddenly imagining a world without your beautiful mother. It's one of the most core human feelings, and the fact you feel disgusted in yourself later means you do care, so don't beat yourself up <3
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