"I never wanted to see you so misguided. I never wanted to be the one to expose you!"

At the moment I'm listening to "Exposed - Lost Autumn".
I've written another song. This one will be used for my next music assignment, check it out:

Another Song For You - Jordan Hinton

[Verse 1]
When will you see that it was all for you?
How did I manage to bend the truth?
I stuffed up, I take the blame,
When will it ever be the same?

[Chorus]
This is the part where you say to me,
Your harmony needs a different key,
Your cadence is just simply wrong,
It's time to write another song.
My lungs aren't ready to sing to you,
My breath falls short as I scream the bridge.
When will you see how I really feel?
When will you trust me again?

[Verse 2]
One last cigarette to hold me through,
I still can't believe what I said to you.
All I wanted was just a dance
Kept running my mouth, and lost my change.

[Chorus]
This is the part where you say to me,
Your harmony needs a different key,
Your cadence is just simply wrong,
It's time to write another song.
My lungs aren't ready to sing to you,
My breath falls short as I scream the bridge.
When will you see how I really feel?
When will you trust me again?
[Bridge]
Silently screaming,
Yet nothing to say.
My empty thoughts take me away.

[Chorus/Outro]
This is the part where you say to me,
Your harmony needs a different key,
Your cadence is just simply wrong,
It's time to write another song.
Another song for you.

(:

"Promises, promises, it was all set in stone, cross my heart and hope to die. Sugar fix, dirty tricks and a trick question, guess I should have read between the lines. Having the time of my life, watching the clock tick. Having the time of my life, watching the clock tick."

At the moment I'm listening to "All the Time - Green Day".
I had a pretty fun night with some mates last night. Had a few drinks, watched some movies (on Friday the 13th... hehe).

Today I went to the dentist in the first time in about 9 months. I was WELL overdue! I got two fillings and was told I have a very severe gum infection (which I kind of knew anyways because my gums have been aching for so long and have been bleeding constantly). On top of all this news I need to book myself into the hospital soon to get all 4 of my wisdom teeth out because they are growing sideways. Wonderful.

I'm hoping to have this operation done on my Uni study break in about four weeks from now. I am really hoping I can get it done in this week because I can't do it anytime sooner and I will be in too much pain to have it done in two to three months time. I REALLY hope that my recovery time won't cut into my exam times and I hope I will be able to be well enough to study for them properly!
Wish me luck! :)

In other news, my favourite "Die Hard" movie is on TV at the moment (number 3), So I better go! (:

Happy Reading :P

^^ Currently my life at the moment!



"Do you ever go home to a place where you don't belong. Where the feeling of neglect can be oh so strong. Where everything you try to say or do is always fucking wrong. When everything around you is a sad song. I did not choose to be here. I know I'm your regret. But I'll paint your blackened walls clear. So you'll never forget."

At the moment I'm listening to "Family Goretrait - Abandon All Ships".
I've had a pretty swell night. Caught up with one of my close mates, had some fish n chips, had some laughs and just had a general good time!

Sometimes it's hard for me to enjoy my mates company now days because I'm just TOO fucken busy with work, but tonight was good just to relax and have a few laughs! (:

In other news, I really need to continue with my homework tomorrow. I didn't do anything today and because of that I'm so behind! This workload is killing me. All I want to do is sleep! ;)

"Too much blood has flown from the wrists of the children shamed for those they chose to kiss."

At the moment I'm listening to "Make it stop (September's child) - Rise Against".
Today is a very exciting day for me. Today marks the one year anniversary of my first ever post on this blog!! So, that means, as of today, every time I post, I can look back over my post and see how much I have changed as a person in exactly one year! That was and still is the initial purpose of starting this blog. :)

So far, from April 11th last year, I have:

• Fallen in love
• Came out to my parents
• Broke up with two boyfriends
• Had my heart broken
• Got over it
• Lost weight
• Gained weight
• Completed high school
• Got into University
• Got a car
• Starved myself
• Turned 18
• Had a lot of sex...
• Regretted it
• Attempted suicide
• Harmed myself
• Regretted it (every bit of it)
• Started smoking
• Made money
• Lost money
• Made some friends
• Lost some friends
• Had some shit days
• ....but also had some AMAZING days! :)

The main bands that got me from 11th of April to now:

• Alkaline Trio
• Rise Against
• Strung Out
• New Found Glory
• My Chemical Romance

Quotes of the year from April to April:

• "Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely Boring!"
• "Sometimes you have to do something unforgivable... just to be able to go on living."
• "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."

Pick up lines of the year from April to April:

• "If I were to ask you to have sex with me, would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this question?"
• *Written on a piece of paper and given to someone* "Would you like to go out sometime? Yes=Smile, No=Back flip."

Movies of the year from April to April:

• Scream 4
• I spit on your grave
• American Pie Reunion
• August Rush
• Burlesque
• Mean Girls
• Fight Club

Overall, I have changed SO much as a person since the 11th of April, 2011. I'm VERY proud of myself and am looking forward to the next 12 months!

Love you all! <3 Happy Reading!

I want a relationship like this ^

"I feel my actions are destroying me, deep down below the shallow life I lead. The pain is mine to keep and call my own, I'll carry it until i'm gone."

At the moment I'm listening to "My only - Goodnight Nurse".

My parents are playing "Happy Family" at the moment with some of my dads mates. These people have a typical neuclear family and my parents are trying to fit in and pretending to be something they're clearly not! And worst of all, they're trying to get me to be involved and to be social.

Fuck this. It is fucking disgusting.

"This is the part where the needle skips and the chorus plays like a sink that drips. A syllable repeating, like a warning we aren't heeding. Until all of a sudden we noticed it, when the wheels brace and the tires grip. A map we've been misreading, a defeat we're not conceding. Until now, there must be some other way out. Go on alone, because I won't follow. But this isn't giving up, no this is letting go. Out with the old dreams I've borrowed, the path I carve from here on out will be my own. A path to take me home."

At the moment I'm listening to "This is Letting Go - Rise Against".
Today is Easter. It's shit, as always. Another day to remind myself of my childhood, I guess. I didn't really have a fantastic childhood, but when I see my mum and dad (such as today) intersect as they do (like a couple, cooking together etc), it makes me a little sick inside, because it reminds me of a shit time in my life. I guess that's a little selfish of me, because I can see that they're happy, but oddly, their happiness makes me upset. (Strange?)

Easter and these last couple of days, my eating happit has been uncontrolable! I'm feeling so sluggish and fat! :( Time for a diet tomorrow!

Appart from my shitty Easter, things have been alright!

In other news, however, the Uni gossip and dramas have already started! This one girl has so rudely fucked up another one of my friends life and made him feel so shit about himself. I only seem to use this term when it's relevant, and I am about to right now. She is a complete and utter slut! And the worst part, of course, is that she thinks WE are "besties". And as "besties" she likes to bitch about the guy (whose life she ruined), and all I want to do is slap the bitch out!

Uni: Somewhat the same as high school.

Also, no one really knows this about me, but I have a secret love for watching football. I'm getting really into it, especially now! I would never admit it before because I never wanted it to be a bonding point between me and my dad. Oh well.

Happy Easter, lovely! (:

"Sitting beside you in school, while we'd paint I'd make you laugh. Mine was never very good, yours looked exactly like the photograph. Looks like I'm growing, I'm growing up beside you."

At the moment I'm listening to "Growing up beside you - Paolo Nutini".
This week has been fairly average and pretty wonderful. Easter is coming up pretty soon... Even though, I really don't like spending time with my family. I cannot stand the fake smiles, the fake conversations and the repetitive annoyance of misbehaving children and, what's even worse, adults behaving like children. I would much rather prefer to not celebrate it at all... and that way I can get a good start on my Lab Report for Uni. I REALLY need to get a move on with that, but I just have SO much other homework I need to do. :/ Eeeeeeeeeeeepp.

It's funny, through talking to some mates and thinking about this quite a lot over the past couple of months, I'm not sure what I want in life at the moment regarding my relationship status. See, I had this idea in my head that when I went into Uni, I would LOVE to be in a relationship. But now that I'm settled into Uni, I really just want to breathe for a bit a focus on my studying instead of socialising. I love having the freedom of being single. I think it's really great to have the freedom of, if I wanted to, going out to a club or something and doing something I'll regret in the morning. To me, that is a fun night out, and I want to enjoy those nights when I'm young!

I'm living my life. I'm eating what I want, without the guilt of being fat. Sure, I am fat. But, to tell you the truth. I like it. It's warm and cuddly! ;) I'm enjoying Uni. I'm making some amazing mates. Loving life.

"Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely Boring!" - Marilyn Monroe.