"It's all in what we hold as being real, when the symbol kills the substance then we've lost. Save me one more time and I'll be free from the alleyways of my heart."

At the moment I'm listening to "Velvet Alley - Strung Out".
I'm afraid I might be going back into the same bad habbits as I once used to. I'm starving myself to lose weight.

Yes, I know it's dreadfully unhealthy, and it just makes you put the weight back on... but it worked for me in the past. And I figured that since the "normal" measures of losing weight aren't working for me (and I've been exercising and cutting down my portion sizes over the last 3 weeks), I might as well go back to my old ways and temporarily make myself happy, and thin.

I have been sick with the flu over the past two days, and I'm honestly not sure if it's a physical sickness that is causing a mental sickness, or a mental sickness causing a physical sickness. I have slept for about 35-40 hours over the past 2 days, and I'm finding it pretty hard to remember even the smallest details over the past week. Thank god I have this blog!

I was so sick today that I even missed my last class of sign language... which is pretty upsetting, but I just couldn't get out of my bed, let alone have the strength to drive.

Feeling a little bit lonely at the moment as well, even though I choose to be lonely. I miss my boyfriend already, and he's only been on holiday for two days... and doesn't come back for another 5 more days.

I hate being on Uni holidays, I need and crave structure, and I need some in my life at the moment more than ever.

Hope you're well :)