"Some nights, I stay up cashing in my bad luck, some nights, I call it a draw. Some nights, I wish that my lips could build a castle, some nights, I wish they'd just fall off. But I still wake up, I still see your ghost, oh Lord, I'm still not sure what I stand for!"

At the moment I'm listening to "Some Nights - Fun.".
I'm still feeling fair down. I still have no motivation to do anything, and I'm finding myself enjoying this a little too much.

I gave into my urges today, I had Hungry Jacks. I ordered 3 burgers, 1 large fries, 1 large onion rings, and 1 large Coke. I ate it all within 15 minutes and immediately after spent the next 30-40minutes throwing it all up.

It's been quite a while since I've had a binge-purge day, but it was fucking worth it :) Starving myself takes too much self control, but it's also a little bit more effective. I'm liking the path I'm currently on with losing weight, and I've already lost a bit. I want to keep going with this, at least until I've reached an easy goal where I can keep going with the normal way of losing weight from there on.

Some of you might now understand this, and most of you I'm sure are deeply opposed to it. But this is how it is. I'm only going to change if I want to. I know it's bad for me, but I don't have the patients to lose weight normally.

Really missing my boyfriend. Tonight especially. Only 3 more sleeps until I get to see him (: