"I remembered black skies, the lightning all around me. I remembered each flash, as time began to blur. Like a startling sign, that fate had finally found me. And your voice was all I heard, that I get what I deserve. So give me reason to prove me wrong, to wash this memory clean. Let the floods cross the distance in your eyes. Give me reason to fill this hole, connect this space between. Let it be enough to reach the truth that lies... across this new divide."

At the moment I'm listening to "New Divide - Linkin Park".
I'm feeling honestly dreadful and upset at the moment, and it's about something that doesn't even particularly involves me.

He's going through an extremely tough time at the moment. Tomorrow night he gets back home from his holiday and has to sit down with his parents to discuss how his grandparents are feeling about his sexuality. As his boyfriend, I am concerned and worried to know what they have to say to him. This whole "grandparents not accepting him" scenario has been going on for just over a week now, and I know it's only just beginning. I'm just worried because I know how upset this whole situation makes him, especially how much this situation is effecting his parents. I honestly hope that his parents are 100% supportive in favour of their son instead of his grandparents, because there is absolutely nothing wrong with being gay. It's just as normal as being straight is, and it is definitely not just a phase people go through.

I hope, for his sake, that his parents still understand this, continue to understand this, and help try to teach others this. I hope that they will still be accepting of me, but of course at the moment I'm thinking the worst... I honestly don't think it will get that bad.

I CERTAINLY don't want this to change my boyfriends mind either. In my mind, as irrational as it is, I'm thinking maybe he will have to make the tough decision of boyfriend or family? But I really hope it doesn't come down to that. Recently I have been a little scared of losing him due to this issue. Maybe he might turn around and say to me that we can't see each other very often because my family doesn't like it.

I don't think this is the case or ever will be. But it's a possibility. It's actually making me cry a little bit even thinking about it because I don't want to lose him, ever! I'm NOT going anywhere, and I hope he isn't either!

I know this issue isn't really concerning me, but I can't help but shed tears for him. We've been together for almost 4 months now, and I really really fucking love him, so much so that my emotions are tied with his own. When he's upset, I am too!

It's his last night on holidays tonight, and he rang my up before telling me that he has a fever, a swollen lip (wisdom teeth), a sore back, and is lacking sleep. I feel terrible because he is not in arms length and I would give my fucking soul to hug him right in this moment. He really does mean the world to me, so it kills me inside to know he's in pain and upset.

It kind of sucks that all I can do is just be there for him... Because if I had the power I wouldn't even hesitate to make everything in his life normal again. I love him. And it's safe to say that I fucking miss him... :/