"What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when I tried so hard, and got so far. But in the end, it doesn't even matter. I had to fall, to lose it all, but in the end It doesn't even matter."

At the moment I'm listening to "In the End - Linkin Park".

I'm sick and tired of being this fat. I'm very much looking forward to getting back into a routine consisting of exercise, fitness and healthy eating. I need to become a more healthier me (however, I'm not yet ready to quit smoking, it's the only bad habit I'm deciding to keep).

I need to do this for me, and I hope to god that I stick to it this time! I always seem to fall off the rails when it comes to things like this, but I'm determined to make this routine last!!

I am lacking a little bit of motivation to run, but I think that is mainly because I'm scared, embarrassed and shy to run in public in fear of others judgements.... It's a little stupid, I know, but I guess I'll just have to get over this fear and just keep pushing myself!!

I hope this works! :D