"I'm always screaming my lungs out 'til my head starts spinning. Playing my songs is the way I cope with life. Won't keep my voice down. Know the words I speak are the thoughts I think out loud."

At the moment I'm listening to "All I want - A Day to Remember".

I just had a major mood change, or mood swing tonight. It was one unlike any other I have had in the past... It was really scary and unexpected.

I am currently at my boyfriends house staying the night. It's 1am. Early this evening, everything was really wonderful. Spending time with my man is always wonderful... Until, all of a sudden, I became really quiet, angry, aggressive and distant. I barely said anything, but when I did, I noticed myself being really cold and snapping my words back at my boyfriend. It was actually horrible, and I feel really terrible about it. It was actually like I was another person, which is dreadfully concerning...

As of recently, I have been also questioning my emotions. (This may be very difficult to explain, and for you to understand via reading... But I'll give it my best shot to pour out what the fuck is going on inside my head)..

I am been wondering whether the emotions I feel are real or not. Am I really in love with my boyfriend? (For example) Or is it just something I'm supposed to feel?

Am I really feeling "Happy", or is this just some synthetic emotion I'm feeling that shows all the same behaviours as "happy"... Could my emotions possibly be fake?
And if so.. Could it possibly be the medication that's making it do so?

I spoke to my doctor about this yesterday. She upped my dosage. I'm really quite confused as to what to feel at the moment. Really worried, because I KNOW I'm hurting others around me. And I'm in no condition to lose anyone important in my life. No way.

Fuck.