"Hello there, the angel from my nightmare, the shadow in the background of the morgue. The unsuspecting victim of darkness in the valley, we can live like Jack and Sally if we want, where you can always find me. We'll have Halloween on Christmas, and in the night we'll wish this never ends. We'll wish this never ends."

At the moment I'm listening to "I Miss You - Blink 182".

Feeling a little bit all over the place at the moment and today. It's the last day of winter. I'm really going to miss winter, winter gave me comfort and I loved every minute of the cold.

Firstly, I'm feeling a little down because since I have such strong feelings for my boyfriend, every day I don't see him I really miss him. It's crazy to even think that because we are not even really deep into the relationship yet, It's just the way I feel. I hardly spoke to him today because I was so busy with uni and he was at work all day. It's going to be really tough these next couple of weeks because both of us are really busy with work and Uni studies, so we will hardly ever see each other over the next few weeks or so. So, that's got me a little down at the moment...

I'm also feeling a little down because I feel like I don't have time for my friends anymore these days... Like, I've just been thinking today and evaluating my current life and literally all I have been doing is University and on weekends all I would do is sit at home and do non-stop homework all day. :( It saddens me that I literally have zero time for friends... I really wish that wasn't the case because I really do love my friends to pieces and miss them every single day! To all of you reading this, I want you to know that I'm dreadfully sorry for not being around as much as I used to. I can honestly tell you that I didn't intentionally mean anything by it, I've just been so focused on my work that I forgot to realise that my life is slowly passing me by. I will definitely try harder from now onwards to make time for all of those that I truly love and miss!

I'm really sick of having so much work commitments and no time for a social life! What I really need is a holiday of some sort, just for a few days to relax and have some time to myself. I would even settle for just a whole weekend at home doing absolutely nothing but relaxing and doing what I want to do! I also haven't had a proper drink or night out with mates in a very long time, and I do really miss it!! The holidays really need to hurry the fuck up!!

So, that's my sad sort of post to end winter with. Hope you're all well. I really truly miss everyone reading this! <3

"Next is a trip to the, the ladies room in vain, and I bet you just can't keep up with, with these fashionistas, and tonight, tonight, you are, you are a whispering campaign. I bet to them your name is "Cheap", I bet to them you look like shh...Talk to the mirror, oh, choke back tears, and keep telling yourself that "I'm a diva!"

At the moment I'm listening to "There's a good reason these tables are numbered, honey. You just haven't thought of it yet - Panic! At the Disco".

I forgot how much I love this song! It's pretty much been on repeat for the past week!

So, to catch you up on my life adventures, if you're interested:
I had my first shift of my new job last Saturday night! It was incredible, non-stop, flat out work, 6 hours solid! But it was seriously so much fun! I forgot how much I love working! :) And the band that was playing (Hilltop Hoods) were pretty average as well. So that was really fun! Good pay too! :)

Life with my boyfriend has been nothing but beautiful as well! Everything is going really fine and I'm really glad things are looking like they might work out! :)

Big weekend coming up as well, Dad's birthday AND fathers day! So that should be okay.

Bring on the future!! :)

"She whispers something in my ear, the message is unclear, she motions outside. I trail her closely from behind, she tries hard not to cry, she shakes underneath the pouring rain. I can't compete with all your damn ideas, this isn't working out for you or me. The truth is I'm too tired to play pretend, this is goodbye, this is the end."

At the moment I'm listening to "Last Night - Motion City Soundtrack".

Sorry for not posting much this week. I'll catch you up!

It's been a pretty wonderful week. Uni is going really smoothly, getting all my work and summary notes up to date and handed in on time, and catching up with mates! OoOohh and I also have stopped bringing my smokes to uni, so I've been cutting down heaps!! Which is really good! :D

I got a job!!!!! It's an amazing job!! It's really flexible around uni hours, good pay, AND I get to watch some really amazing bands perform for free! Yaaaaay!!!!!

Okay, now the more amazing news, I saw my boyfriend today... Yep, that's right, I said boyfriend. You can say its official now! :P WOOO!! So, yeah, I went to visit him today, he gave me a teddy bear and asked me to be his boyfriend! How could I refuse??

I'm still keeping my wits about me and still being cautious, because we all know, since you've all read my blog, that I've been hurt before. So I'm being careful to make sure it doesn't happen again... But I honestly don't think it will end badly, if it ends at all! :D

I haven't been this happy in a very long time, and I'm loving every second of living my life!!

Can't wait to see what tomorrow, the next day, and my future brings!!

Keep smiling, everyone! :D

"No escaping when I start, once I'm in I own your heart. There's no way you'll ring the alarm, so, hold on until it's over. Oh, do you know what you got into? Can you handle what I'm 'bout to do? 'Cause it's about to get rough for you. I'm here for your entertainment."

At the moment I'm listening to "For your Entertainment - Adam Lambert".

This following post comes with a severe warning. You may possibly see (or read) a side of me you have never seen (or read) before.

I am ABSOLUTELY shocked and appalled...

Last night I went out for a lovely dinner with the guy I'm dating and he chose this certain restaurant for us to go to called Max Bar in the city. First of all the food we had was absolutely delicious, so I have no complaint about that. However, the story goes like this:
It was a lovely night, and a lovely restaurant, illuminated by candle light. It was like something you see in a romantic movie. So, we walk in and are seated at our table for two, we ordered our meals and drinks and then started to talk. Our drinks arrived and since we were talking quite romantically to each other, our words resolved in a lovely kiss over the table which lasted no more than 5 seconds. It was a beautiful moment, but was shortly ruined. After our delicious entree was finished, the waiter came over to clear out plates. As he was doing this he also informed us of some comments made by other patrons regarding our "behaviour".

"I'm really sorry gentlemen, but there has been a complaint from that table over there (the waiter then points to the table) with the family and children and they have told me that they did not want to expose their children to your kissing" the waiter explains to us. After looking around in the direction that the waiter pointed in, all we saw was one man sitting by himself, staring at my date and I as if he was threatening us. It was clear that it was indeed this man that had the problem, and not this "family" the waiter was speaking of.

The waiter then tells us "I'm really sorry guys, but you have two choices. One is to tone it down completely, or to sit outside where I can get you a very nice table under a heater." As we were pretty shocked and appalled, we chose the easier option in just sitting outside instead of making a big deal out of things. We get outside and the waiter pulls a table out from storage and takes us around the side of the restaurant (away from literally everyone and everything), pulls up two plastic chairs and that's all. No heater, no atmosphere, nothing. The only thing we were close to was the side of the restaurant were the chefs came out of to sit of their crates and smoke. This was metres away from our table and really removed the romantic atmosphere with the loud talking and smell of smoke being in our presence. (And yes, I do smoke, but I don't really like it being practically on my plate when I'm eating). After our meals, I went inside the restaurant to go to the toilet and on my way I was, once again, stared down by this guy and his friends (who were now sitting with him). So, just to be the smart ass that I am, I blew him a kiss as I walked pass. His reaction was quite hilarious! Haha

So, that's my story. It really disgusts me to know that I live in a world that is so discriminatory and ignorant. I'm not even going to get started in expressing my anger in this situation because it seriously isn't worth it. I've been venting about it ALL day and I think I will actually make myself sick if I start getting into it again. Fucking furious!

It's actually pretty funny how my mum reacted though. I told her last night and she was more furious than I was. So much so that rang the restaurant up this morning and complained herself. But more importantly she posted (and so did my sister) a very nasty review on a well reliable web source. I will link you to it at the end of this post. And even though they did make a very nasty review, someone else claiming to be the "family" that made the complaint, also posted a review sharing his view of the story. He claimed that we "had our tongues down each others throats" and behaving such actions that should be left "behind closed doors". This is absolutely not true! Just because we had a romantic and quick peck on the lips, doesn't mean we were "down each others throats". No one, gay or straight, would make out like that in a restaurant. No one. So his review of the story is a complete and utter lie. Some people can just get fucked. :)

Apart from that, though, I had a really amazing date, and things with this guy seem to be going SO well!! I'm really super happy with life at the moment and wouldn't have it any other way in the world. (: My date said something to me in the car as we reached my house that really make my heart skipping beats. "I think I'm falling in love with you, Jordan." he softly told me as he looked deep into my eyes.

I melted, and replied with the words "I think I am falling in love with you also, Sebastian."

Okay, I'll link you to something you HAVE to read! Enjoy!

Look under "Diner Reviews"
Mums post was titled "TOTALLY DISGUSTED!"
My sisters post was titled "Appalled"
And the fuck wit who claimed to be part of the "family" who complained made a post titled "GREAT PLACE!!"

Hope you're well!

http://www.urbanspoon.com/r/71/761235/restaurant/CBD/Max-Cafe-Bar-Melbourne

"Am I loud and clear, or am I breaking up? Am I still your charm, or amI just bad luck? Are we getting closer, or are we just getting morelost? I'll show you mine, if you show me yours first. Let's comparescars, I'll tell you whose is worse. Let's unwrite these pages andreplace them with our own words."

At the moment I'm listening to "Swing Life Away - Rise Against".

Just in relation to what I'm listening to, many rumours have been going around that the lead singer of Rise Against had a sex change, but the truth is, this information is conerning the band "Against Me!" So, no sex change for Rise Against! Haha

And yeah, I'm doing quite well. Things with the guy I'm dating and myself are going quite smoothly. I'm VERY happy about that and seriously cannot wait to find out more about him and spend more time with him! :)
However, there is one little problem. This guy I'm dating (Let's refer to him as F) has had one single date with one of my close mates (Let's refer to him as R)...although he (F) is not interested in him (R), my mate (R) might be interested in my date (F). And my mate (R) doesn't know that we are dating yet. :/ Is this wrong that I'm continue to date him?? I really like him (F) and don't want to stop dating, but this other issue is just eating away inside me.
It's probably not even a big deal, and when my mate (R) eventually finds out I really hope that he (R) takes things well. I'm just a little confused, or even concerned! Hmmm :/

"Crowded streets are cleared away, one by one. Hollow heroes separate, as they run. You're so cold, keep your hand in mine. Wise men wonder, while strong men die. Show me how it ends, it's alright. Show me how defenseless you really are. Satisfied and empty inside, well, that's alright. Let's give this another try."

At the moment I'm listening to "So Cold (Acoustic) - Breaking Benjamin".

So, where do I begin? I guess I can begin with Uni and then lead to even more amazing news.

Uni has been pretty fun!! Haha, getting into the swing of things has been a little hard at first, but I was seriously craving some structure on the holidays, so I'm glad I have some now. My classes are pretty interesting, but my 8am starts on Wednesday are going to kill me. :/ Sign Language is also amazing! It's seriously the best thing in the world, so much fun and so useful!

Okay, so amazing news time. I have met someone. We've been talking for about 2-3 weeks and I had a first date with him yesterday after uni. He is this absolutely gorgeous Italian guy with beautiful brown eyes and just a stunning personality. I feel like this will work out. It seems different to most others I've dated. He seems really into me and is really affectionate and lovely. So hopefully it works out, though I'm not getting my hopes up just yet. :P

Hope you're well! :D

"And we make the same mistakes, we're always hanging on. Break the promises we're always leaning on, all this time spent waking up. Now I keep this line open to get this call from you, as you speak the words that keep me coming back to you. Now this time it's all different."

At the moment I'm listening to "Everchanging - Rise Against".

I'm at uni at the moment. Just finished my first tute for the day and just waiting around until my next one. Having a pretty crappy day to be honest. Woke up late this morning and tried to drive to the station. My car just would not start. So I got mum to drive me. Almost missed my bus (because I have to catch a fucking bus instead of a train because the train tracks are under construction where I live. And have a long day at uni. I just want to go home and sleep....

I'm sitting outside in the smokers courtyard at uni, trying not to smoke too much, but then again, also trying not to eat at all today.

I have no money to get food, and I'm trying to not eat for a while. Really need to lose weight. I'm so fucking hungry though. Oh well, I can get past this.

I know tomorrow is going to be a better day than today. Hope so. Really hope so. :D