"Well I know not to lose it, but aren't you in the bullet? I can't wait to say 'enough is enough, cough it up and use it.' I'm keeping composure, my blood's boiling over. We've been through push to shove, now the gloves are off, hit me like you mean it. To justify my loss of self control, I know I probably should just let it go."

At the moment I'm listening to "The Hits Keep Comin' - Neural".

To be brutally honest, the only word that can describe me recently is: Odd. I have been very odd lately... and I don't know why.. What do I mean? Well, I mean that my mood has been ridiculously up and down, ALL week. And the majority of the time, without any cause. Some days I have been feeling great! Feeling like nothing in this world can possibly get me down... and then, all of a sudden, it gets bad. Not as bad as it has been in the past, but still pretty bad. I was even very upset with myself when, all of a sudden, suicidal thoughts started pouring into my head today. Completely random as well. (I changed my thoughts and reassured myself that everything was fine, so don't worry)... but seriously, what the fuck?? Why does things like this all of a sudden just creep up on me and completely change my day..?! Not to mention how it affecting everyone else in my life, especially my boyfriend who just isn't used to the way my brain works yet... but then again, I'm not used to it yet either.

It was actually pretty funny today. Mum asked me a simple question. She asked me if I wanted to start trying to stop taking my anti-depressant and anti-anxiety medications. I don't know what got into  me, but I just flipped out and pretty much directly told her that I was just not ready to get off them!! Which is a bit sad. I don't want to be on these pills forever, but then again, I don't want to let them go. Well, at least not at the moment.

So, apart from this delightful news, I guess I don't really have much else to report. I just really hope that whatever is going on in my brain settles down, and fast! I can't keep living not knowing if tomorrow will be a happy or a sad day. It's really starting to get a little confusing.

"You've taken me to the top, and let me fall back south. You've had me at the top of the pile, and then had me kissing the ground. We've heard and seen it all, no ones talked us out. The problems that have come, haven't yet torn us down."

At the moment I'm listening to "Always Attract - You Me at Six".

Soooo, it's been a while since I've posted. I have been extremely busy over this past week and a half!! SO. BUSY!

I went on holidays with my boyfriend. :) I had such a beautiful time!! We just relaxed, went out for dinner, went to some shops, had a look around, went in the spa, and saw the Penguin Parade!! Penguins are super cute!! Haha, I want one. NOW!! ..

A part from the nice and relaxing holiday, I have been VERY busy cleaning, packing, and moving house. It's definitely not a fun experience for me. This is my 20th move, and I hate it. The house is really beautiful though. But the fact that I'm now living with an asshole of a dad really makes things pretty crap. I really can't wait to move out one day!!

Also, last night I went to the 21st of one of the most beautiful people I know. She is so special to me, and I'm do glad she had a beautiful night. It was also the first party my boyfriend and I attended so far as a couple. Which is pretty cool...
Ohh, and guess what?!? Today is our one month anniversary!! Haha, so that's pretty cute (:

Work has been pretty good as well. I had a shift on Thursday night.. And I actually met the band who was playing at my work (Good Charlotte). Joel and Benji are so nice and down to earth!! Also, SO short. Haha

Ahh okay, I better end this massive post now.. I'm so tired from such a busy week, but it was definitely amazing! Now I get to enjoy my week off uni.. However, I should reaaaalllyyy do some homework... -.-

Haha, hope you're well!! :D

"It's a little bit funny, this feeling inside. I'm not one of those who can easily hide. I don't have much money, but boy if I did...I'd buy a big house where we both could live. If I was a sculptor, but then again, no. Or a man who makes potions in a travelling show. I know it's not much, but it's the best I can do. My gift is my song and this one's for you. And you can tell everybody this is your song. It may be quite simple but now that it's done...I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind, that I put down in words...How wonderful life is, while you're in the world."

At the moment I'm listening to "Your Song - Elton John".

So September is off to a nice start. But fuck, I don't think I've ever had a busier month coming up in my life. This month I don't have any weekends free because of important parties, moving house, major assignments being due, work, and family events. It really sucks how I try quite hard to see all my mates and have some sort if a social life with all these events happening this month! It's frustrating at times, but there isn't really much I can do about it, I guess. What I really do need is a holiday of just pure relaxing and forgetting about things for a while..

Well, aren't I lucky that I'm going on a little holiday with my boyfriend next week?!? Haha YAY!! I'm so excited! We're only going for 2 nights, but those 2 nights will be magic!! Spa, beach, drinks, movies, Snuggles, walks, and wonder. I'm ridiculously excited!!

I'm also pretty excited for Friday night. Going clubbing with a really close mate for his 20th birthday!! I need a good night out (:

Anyways, hope you're well (:

"She paints her fingers with a close precision, he starts to notice empty bottles of gin and takes a moment to assess the sins she’s paid for. A lonely speaker in a conversation, her words were swimming through his ears again. There's nothing wrong with just a taste of what you've paid for."

At the moment I'm listening to "The Ballad of Mona lisa - Panic! At the Disco".

Melbourne has had such sunny weather the past couples of days... It's disgusting!! :) I love my cold weather! Definitely not a summer boy!

And now for some sad news: Last night was my last night of sign language!! I really wanted to learn so much more because I was enjoying it SOOOO so much!! :( :( I loved what I learnt and I promise myself that I will never let it seep out of my memory! I'm going to continue to practice, at least once a week! :)

Apart from that, I'm quite happy! I'm getting my work done as early as possible so I have more time for my friends! I'm still trying to find a balanced lifestyle, but I'm well on my way! :)

My boyfriend and I are quite happy also, I'm on my way to see him now for dinner! Yay!

Keep smiling, everyone! :)