"You took your coat off and stood in the rain, you're always crazy like that. And I watched from my window, always felt I was outside, looking in on you. You're always the mysterious one with dark eyes and careless hair. You were fashionably sensitive, but too cool to care."

At the moment I'm listening to "Foolish Games - Jewel".
Feeling extraordinary happy these past couple of days. Something that could potentionally be quite special has finally hit me and I'm definitely starting to become a more happier person. So, that's definitely some good news! I'm actually quite excited for the next 3 weeks, mum is now in Paris and I have the house to myself..... well, with the exception of my dad coming whenever he feels like it.... now that he has keys. :/

I'm looking forward to this weekend. Tonight kicks it off with mates, movies and drinking. Then tomorrow night I have a family birthday dinner followed by going to the city for a good night out! Recovering on sunday! :)

As lame as this next bit sounds, I don't care.... My knitting is going quite well! I've made a lovely scarf and some wicked fingerless gloves!! My next project is a breanie, and I also need to make some gloves for mum when she gets back. Hopefully she'll like the design I'm thinking of doing :)

Anyways, hope you're all well! <3

"But under skinned knees and the skid marks, past the places where you used to learn, you howl and listen, listen and wait for the echoes of angels who won't return."

At the moment I'm listening to "Everything you want - Vertical Horizons".

Still feeling somewhat emotionless regarding the news of my family. Mum says its for the best because we're struggling to make ends meet. I'm sick of her crying each and every day! Things need to get better soon because I'm not coping. At all.

Looking back over my blog. Exactly a year ago I was incredibly happy. What the fuck happened??

On an unrelated topic, however, 8 days of knitting has finally payed off and I'm loving my new red scarf!! :-)

Hope you're well!

"Their anger hurts my ears, been running strong for seven years. Rather than fix the problems, they never solve them, It makes no sense at all. I see them everyday, we get along, so why can't they? If this is what he wants and this is what she wants, then why is there so much pain?"

At the moment I'm listening to "Stay Together for the Kids - Blink 182".
Quite a relevent song after the news I heard tonight. Okay, so, my parents have officially made it that they're getting together, and not only are they getting back together, but we are all going to move house and live together.

I'm feeling a bit blank at the moment, like, I don't really feel anything...

I'm feeling a bit happy for mum, but I also don't want to see her hurt ever again. And one reason why we have to move house is so that they can combine their incomes and we won't have to struggle anymore. Apparently, mum and I will have had to move out soon anyways because we won't be able to afford this house for much longer. I'm VERY sick of moving houses, I think 19 times is enough for me. This move will be the 20th time of moving, and I am honestly tired and don't have the emotional energy to do it.... but I guess I'll have to. I really don't know how to feel at the moment...

Appart from this, I don't really have anything else to report.

"But I don't care what they say, I'm in love with you. They try to pullme away, but they don't know the truth. My heart's crippled by the veinthat I keep on closing. You cut me open and I keep bleeding."

At the moment I'm listening to "Bleeding Love (Cover) - Boyce Avenue".
So, I'm finally free! All my exams are now over and all the money I have been saving for my car insurance and registration has been payed off! I can finally start enjoying my holidays, I'm super excited!!

I'm really excited to start hitting the gym hard one again, and also just to relax and get my life in order!
I'm currently extremely buggered after a long weekend up at my dads place pulling apart his shed with my bare hands, every muscle in my body aches.. :/ Mum also kind of hinted that they might be getting back together...and that we might be moving house.... Maybe even with him... All of us together?!?! WHAT THE FUCK?!? I don't really need all of this bullshit right now in my life, so it's in the process of being permanently ignored.
In more brighter news, I've joined a proper dating site recently to try and meet people.... I figured that my mate and I are probably never going to work out because he doesn't have feelings for me....so I might as well start living my life despite the fact that I have extremely strong feelings for him... Oh well. Meeeeeh!
I've also started knitting as a hobby. Lame, I know. So far I've just knitted this .... Round(ish) thing (Photo below).... No idea what it's meant to be... Perhaps a beard warmer?

Anyways, hope you're well. :D

"Remember the time we wrote our names upon the wall? Remember the timewe realised "Thriller" was our favourite song? Have I waited too long?Have I found that someone? Have I waited too long to see you?"

At the moment I'm listening to "Hit or Miss - New Found Glory".

Currently lying in bed. Wide awake. Had too much to eat tonight and didn't have any chance to throw it up... Just got back home now and had dinner about 5 hours ago.... It would have already digested and be practically impossible to vomit it up. This is REALLY disappointing because I feel extremely guilty and fat at the moment.. Hopefully I can make up for tonight's over-eating over the next few days... But so far I've lost 5.6kgs in roughly 6 weeks. I'm quite happy with that! ...just not happy tonight very much.
I went to see a movie tonight: Prometheus. It wasn't very good, at all.... So that was a bit of a downer as well...

I have my last exam on Wednesday... I can't wait to get it over and done with so I can relax!! So excited! I also finished and handed in my last music assignment for the semester (a developed song). Here's the lyrics to it:

"A Beautiful Anarchy - Jordan Hinton"

"[Verse 1]:
I want to know what it's like to be in love.
I want to feel your arms in mine.
I want to sing and strum a chord until my hands go numb
I want everything to do with you
[Chorus]:
I need to change myself again
What is it like to be free?
I need to love you again
But I'm stuck in this beautiful anarchy

[Verse 2]:
I want to know why you never returned my calls
I'm asleep on the sidelines of life
I wrote a note to you that said "Tonight we disappear."
I knew we felt no comfort here

[Chorus]:
I need to change myself again
What is it like to be free?
I need to love you again
But I'm stuck in this beautiful anarchy
[Bridge/Outro]:
I understand you've gone away
But I just can't find the words to say
I miss you, I miss you

It's just a beautiful anarchy..."

....the lyrics are pretty average, and I don't think I'll get a high distinction like my last song... But the melody is pretty! Which is kind of cool (:

Hope you're well :D

"Everybody put up your hands, say "I don't wanna be in love, I don't wanna be in love"..."

At the moment I'm listening to "Dance Floor Anthem - Good Charlotte".

It's been a very average week. I've done a little bit of study, but I mainly need to write a whole new song tomorrow before 5pm and hand it in. That's caused a little bit of stress... But what is causing the most stress is the study I am trying to do in preparation for my final exam next week.

Above all this, I've been trying to keep my weight under control... But I'm just not seeing any results..... I haven't really eaten anything in so long either. :S I'm actually enjoying vomiting each and every night.... I'm disgusted in myself... But I can't see myself stopping. I guess I'm addicted? :S it just feels so satisfying doing it each night in the shower as soon as dinner is over! It's part of my routine now, I guess. It's just a shame that I haven't seen any dramatic results yet. :S

On an unrelated note, I really wish I had someone special to hold on cold nights like this. I'm feeling pretty lonely in life, I guess....

"I’ll destroy this useless heart, I’ll fuck it up so it’ll never beat again, not just for me but for anyone. But I get carried away with every phrase and made up melody. The longer I hide behind these lies, the more I disintegrate. There's so much to say but no words to convey the loneliness building with each passing day. You never get used to it, you just have to live with it."

At the moment I'm listening to "Broken Heart - Motion City Soundtrack".

Feeling pretty average lately to be honest. But honestly, feeling a little bit better. I'm a little disappoints that I haven't lost a lot of weight recently though, I have really eaten a whole meal and kept it down for a couple of weeks now and I still look the same.... Which is odd considering every other time in my life when I've done this, I could notice a difference, even if it was little... Hmmmmm..

AND, you know what's REALLY gross?!?!? Chucking up rice and a really hot Indian curry!! It hurts and burns A LOT! I severely don't recommend it! :D

On another topic, I'm pretty excite that I only have 1 exam left next week!! And I've applied for loads of jobs! Hopefully I can get one!! :P Here's hoping!

Hope you're well! :D