"Wait for me to move out west...it's ok if you don't. I hope you know you're my favourite thing about the west coast. I wish I stayed, I hope you wait. So here I am counting down the days till California comes."

At the moment I'm listening to "Playing Favourites - The Starting Line".

It's been a while since my last post... Boyfriend is still amazing. We hit the 2 month mark a couple of days ago... Which is amazing! It's the longest relationship I've been in. So, I'm pretty happy about that! (:
Friends are amazing! Now that I've finished most of my major assignments I have a lot more free time to hang out with them! (:
Uni is going really smoothly! Today is my last uni day for the year!!! I can't believe I've been at uni for a year! It's pretty incredible to think that the end of year 12 was only a year ago... Wow!
And Work is pretty swell! Working tonight after uni!

Tomorrow will be really fun too! I'm having a little get-together at my place to celebrate Halloween, House Warming, and the end of Uni! Which is rad! It's a bit of a shame though that people keep cancelling... Even the people I want there the most. Specifically because they will have the chance of meeting my boyfriend (:
So I've got that to look forward to after my busy day today! (:

In other news, the woman sitting across from me on the train is a rather big woman... Wearing pink tights... Who am I to judge? But the fact that this lady (who has to be at least 50 years old) looks like a ripe strawberry is making me hungry.

Hope you're well! And HAPPY HALLOWEEN! ;)

"Lie to me, convince me that I've been sick forever and all of this will make sense when I get better. But I know the difference between myself and my reflection. I just can't help but to wonder, Which of us do you love?!"

At the moment I'm listening to "Breathe no more - Evanescence".
Currently sitting in the hair dressers getting my fringe dyed red again! I think this will be a good solution to stop pulling out my hair! I will like the red too much to pull it out.. As odd as that sounds, it worked last time.

My life over this past few weeks has been a constant struggle between losing weight and quitting smoking. I gave up on the whole "I'm gonna quit or cut down smoking thing" and am not focusing on cutting down my portion sizes and trying to lose a bit of weight. Hopefully this will work. Maybe..

Apart from this though, my life has just been dominated by Uni assignments and having little to no money due to having to pay to survive. I seriously don't have one single second to scratch my balls let alone visiting mates. I'm really looking forward to holidays! Freedom!

Only about 4 weeks to go until I'm COMPLETELY free!! Yay!!!

"Hello there, how you doin'? I've got all these thoughts just floating through my brain. They bump and they collide and cause a flurry of confusion, and it's getting on my nerves. I try to hold myself together, fighting off this mental weather when I can (sometimes I do). But this shitstorm's never ending, and the atmospheric pressure's calling for rain. This is what I've got going on. This is where I belong tonight."

At the moment I'm listening to "Where I Belong - Motion City Soundtrack".

Well, I'm a little disappointed equally proud of myself! I ended up giving into my craving and had a smoke today. Just one. That is the disappointment, but the proud-ness is in how I went cold-turkey for 7 whole days! That's REALLY good!

My plans for this next week concerning smoking are a little different than last weeks. This week I am experimenting whether having one smoke a day is more beneficial (in my overall happiness and energy levels) than going cold-turkey. Obviously going cold-turkey is more beneficial for my physical health, but one smoke a day, and then slowly starting to cut down to eventually quitting might have more long-term effects.

Overall this past week, I have noticed the full effects of a severe, and dangerous, addiction. I have had very limited sleep, continuous dreams about smoking, over-eating and an increased eating rate, substituting food for smokes (which in turn is making me put on a bit of weight), feeling dizzy, fainting (I actually fainted in the middle of my lecture... it was really awkward.....), extreme mood swings, decrease in concentration levels, decrease in energy levels (probably also caused by the lack of sleep), and absolutely no motivation to do anything active and healthy.

These effects have definitely not helped me this week, especially with all the assignments I have to do. This is why I'm choosing to slowly cut-down instead of "quit" altogether at the moment. And, every time you go cold-turkey, you last a little longer each time. I'm looking forward going longer than 7 days next time. I'm definitely getting closer to a positive outcome and setting myself up for a better and brighter future. :)

Hope you're well. :D

"I am running in this race and I am pressing onwards towards the finish line. You have promised me a better life, far beyond this world, far beyond this place and time."

At the moment I'm listening to "Finish Last - Stellar Kart".
I've noticed as of recent that my blog posts have started to become less frequent. I'd love to keep up with my posts, and maybe post at least every 2 or 3 days... but recently, and this week especially, I have been extremely busy. I have had SOOOOO much homework! It was actually a little too much where I thought I just would NOT get everything done in time. Luckily, of my lecturers told everybody that they could have an extra week on one of the major assignments! That lifts so much stress off my mind!

Apart from my stress-filled-homework-life, my actual life has been quite up and down. I'm a lot better from how I was last post... despite that fact the my mum and I are fighting. I can't even remember what we're fighting about anymore, but there has just been silence in the room for the past 5 hours... it's really awkward.. Oh well, it'll probably be sorted in the morning.

I do have some good (and bad-ish) news though...
The good news is, I have quite smoking! I am trying this little thing (well, I like to call it an 'experiment') where I test myself and see how long I can go without have a puff of a smoke. My previous record of this same 'experiment' resulted in 4 days without a single smoke... So I am going to try and beat that record this time and see how far a head of it I can get to until the time comes when I am so desperate that I really need one. So far, it's 2 days down, 2 days to go, however, I haven't bought a packet of smokes in 6 days, and have cut down pretty dramatically. So let's see how this ends up going.

Okay, the bad(ish) news is:
Since I have decided to quit/cut-down smoking, I have put on a little weight. I'm really saddened when I look at my naked body in the mirror.. it actually really brings me down. I REALLY need to work on my portion sizes and control all the food I consume. It's even gotten to that point were I feel really fucken embarrassed to expose large proportions of my naked body to my boyfriend. It really is something I need to change, and fast. I can't keep living like this.

There's also something about my boyfriend that I just quite don't understand. This may be a bit mean and self-centred of me.. But I feel like my boyfriend may be a little stingy with money, even though I know he has money to spend. Like, I am not exactly rich, but I do struggle with money a lot. So, even for him to offer to pay for dinner once in a while would be good... Just like a normal couple I guess. Or even a coffee.. Like, I offer to buy him coffees when we were dating... But I've never seen him do it. Even if like he owes me $5 (for example) and he only has a $10 note... I HAVE to have $5 change for him... Instead of him saying "don't worry about the change babe". I know I've done the same for him, on numerous occasions.. Oh well. (:

Anyways, I have a massive 18 hour day tomorrow (Uni and work straight after is), so I'm off..

Hope you're well! :)